The main topic for Charlie’s show Monday night was the second presidential debate. I tuned in eagerly, hoping for a thoughtful and thought-provoking discussion of the debate and the state of America’s presidential race. As he introduced the three men who would be commenting on the debate and its aftermath, my jaw dropped. Yet again, there was no woman on the panel. A major aspect of the discussion had to do with Mr. Trump’s treatment of women, but it would be discussed about women, rather than with women.
My women friends and I, tweeting and posting to Facebook on Sunday evening and over the course of the day on Monday, had noticed something Charlie’s guests had noticed only in passing. Women noticed that Trump stood too close, looming over Mrs. Clinton like the menacing, creepy clowns people have been talking about. He paced like a cage beast, did push ups on his chair back, and came up behind her and glared in an unmistakably threatening way. By fifteen minutes into the debate, one friend noted, “Ugh, it looks like he’s grooming her.” (referring to the way perverted men position young women and girls to be taken advantage of.) One posted – in mostly caps – “Tell that man to get out of her space.” And another, “What is he doing? He looks like he’s getting ready to punch her.” Etc.
Every woman who has ever been bullied by a belligerent husband or boyfriend felt her guard come up when Trump loomed into view behind Mrs. Clinton. Domestic abuse is rampant in our country – both verbal and physical. Many of us remember feeling the hairs on our neck stand on end, when we heard a man’s footsteps behind us in a deserted parking lot or dark street. Or the boy who joked, “Maybe I don’t want to drive you home just yet,” as he ran his fingers through our hair. I had a visceral reaction; I actually shuddered at one point, suddenly remembering the way four or five men crowded around me when I was out running an errand at lunchtime one day. They touched my hair and whispered hoarsely what they would like to do with me. I broke away by whacking them with my purse and ran, screaming, as fast as I could.
Is that what our election is about? About who can menace and overpower the other? If so, maybe instead of an election, candidates can just go a few rounds in a boxing ring. We can have a George Foreman, or a Mike Tyson (who was convicted of sexual assault) as our next president. Or maybe we can have some other physical feat determine who should be our chief executive, and someone like Brock Turner –a tall, handsome young athlete, a champion swimmer, who was convicted of sexually assaulting an unconscious woman–as our next president.
I’d like a presidency that’s not built on brute strength and bullying. Let’s keep it an elected office. I’d like a president who actually knows our constitution and shows some signs of being able to govern. The men on Charlie’s show Monday night gave a polished view of what happened at and before the debate, and gave opinions on what might happen in the remaining days till the election, but they missed something crucial. They missed what women felt in their bones.
word from the trenches 